Love & Marriage

We are back from Texas. I took the laptop but when I had time, I didn't have the wifi access or it wasn't free -- mostly it got too hectic. We had fun for the most part, though I am glad to be home. I wanted to post about our wedding anniversary first...

June is an auspicious month for our family. On June 9 my parents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. True to their style they didn't want to have a 'do' and chose to honor the date with a dinner just the two of them...mom and dad are an inspiration. They have never dated anyone else -- something I have always found amazing -- and from the age of 15 and 16 (mom was the 'older woman') have gone steady, and have been pinned, dropped, engaged and married, in the way people 'went steady' back in the day...this is their wedding day...they waited 7 years before having kids...mom worked as a 4th grade teacher, and dad was getting an architecture degree, then they traveled as he was in the Air Force for a stint, and finally settled down in AR, where he left to join an architecture firm and they began their family...


Things got a little more complicated for us kids. Here my brother Steve (red suspenders at far left) and sister-in-law Susan (gorgeous girl in the middle in blue dress, with dark hair and bangs) are surrounded by family and friends after their nuptials on June 12 at a good friend's house. Steve and Susan were high school sweethearts for 2 years until he left for college and she dumped him (broke his heart). Susan went on to marry twice, and Steve married and divorced once, before they met up again. Today they have been married 22 years...(mom and dad are seated on the couch - she's in the light-colored dress and he's next to her..I am next to Steve with Carol between us, with an unfortunate permanent and red hair).


Excy and I celebrating our garden wedding on the lawn and terrace of the Big House in Stevenson, MD 20 years ago, June 15th.


Excy and I 'met cute,' in the parlance of the classic old movies I love to watch...I was a happily divorced writer and editor of ARCHITECTURE magazine in DC, and he closed his architecture practice in Austin after he broke his back and was living and working in Baltimore. I was dating an architect in NYC and his distance was one of the things I liked about our relationship...

One afternoon my editor-in-chief threw a project on my desk and suggested it would make a good article for a column I wrote about new designs. Usually when a journalist calls an architect they're thrilled to have their work published -- particularly in one of the three prestigious architecture magazines in the country...but this guy sounded peeved. "Whattya do? Pull it out of the round file??" Okay, I responded, sorry to bother you. Click.

Twenty minutes or so the phone rang.* He said he was so sorry, just we had the slides for over a year and he had been trying to get them back to publish them elsewhere (they were taken by a primere architectural photographer). After we got it straightened out, we began the business portion of the phone call. When I played the tape back later I was surprised by how much we laughed and 'got on,' and noted that about 30 minutes was all business and the rest was all hahaha...

After two weeks I reluctantly called to thank him and said I had everything I needed and to tell him what issue it'd be in...and the next day he called. "Hey, kid. Just missed talking to you." (He is 11 years older). Because I couldn't very well gab away at work I gave him my home phone. He would call every night around 11 and we'd talk for a long time....it occurred to me he was checking up on me...

After three months of this, he proposed meeting...he had asked before but I kept putting it off...there was the architect in NYC (though that infatuation was fading)...and I was having so much fun talking to Excy...I knew it'd burst my bubble if we met and he was blonde or fat and bald...(not that anything's wrong with that...)

Finally he said this was ridiculous...we would be meeting...I protested that I had to work that Saturday...he replied he would pick me up for lunch. At this point we hadn't discussed what either of us looked like, but he said he was 'tall,' and I said I was tall and had (then) auburn hair...At the appointed time, I nervously sat in the lobby and waited...and in he walked. And my first thought when he swung through the door was Damn! I don't want to get married again! It took awhile of course, and we lived together awhile, but after that day it was pretty much over for us with anyone else...


* I never knew 'his' side of the story for 14 years, until he told a friend who asked how we met---apparently he called my editor-in-chief to complain and 'ask if he was slipping,' as he'd never had a lowly (my words) associate editor contact him before, having been used to a senior editor or 'the' editor...Mr. Canty assured him that "He wanted to meet this girl......Don't you have a new restaurant you designed somewhere? You should take her to lunch." "Don, I've never had to take an editor to lunch before -- why do you want me to take her to lunch??" "You aren't listening to me. You want to meet this girl..."

I wish I had known that my reserved, taciturn and wonderful boss set us up. He's no longer living, but thank you, Mr. Canty...

The Redneck Gourmet dinner last weekend was a lot of fun. We have to rely on Excy's photos from his phone which are not the best, because I forgot to take the camera. The show is going to air in the fall after the finale of ice road truckers. Apparently the premise is these 'hairy bikers' (two guys) are chefs and 'explore' the region by eating local delicacies. They gigged our pond the night before to make a frog leg gumbo (they should've asked; we would've let them in the gate, though I hate that some of the frogs were killed. I couldn't try it).







They found the RNG when googling dutch oven cooking in AR. These guys -- including our neighbor -- have won awards for their cooking. They have done two of our picnics - making a pork loin in a chutney-apple glaze, corn pudding, rolls, and a peach cobbler one year...utterly fantastic. For this event, they had a lot of extra dutch-oven chefs in a cook-off competition. After filming all day we could finally eat -- and I couldn't get to half the food...it was all incredible.

This little guy was found without his mom and the couple taking care of him brought him because he needed feeding and they'd be gone all day. He slept peaceably despite lots of people milling around all day and making a fuss over him...


Our neighbor Keith working on his two dishes - his dessert, a carrot cake with icing, won an award that day...







Here are what the hairy bikers rode up on...note their license plates...despite it being a hundred degrees, it was all very fun.





One of the kits peeks out from under the tack room floor...

Fox and Cat Daze of Summer...

In between the phase two posting of the Redneck Gourmet dutch-oven cook-off, we finally got some photos of Francis and the kits. Since you have been waiting patiently, I am interrupting the 'flow' to post these shots. Without further ado...

This is who Excy saw when he walked out to feed the horses this morning..sorry the shot is blurry. He was in a hurry to grab his phone. When he turned the corner of the tack room, he saw four kits wrestling in the ivy...


When they ran underneath the floor, he dangled a string from a hay bale over the edge and went 'fishing' and this is who he lured...




Francis interrupted her lounging in the cool recedes of the ivy this afternoon to eat her favorite treat of vanilla wafers...oops, we're out as of tomorrow...time to run to the store!




Meanwhile inside, Corey's cat Dixie, loves the screened porch so much she is out there all hours, despite looking like she's about to fall out from the heat!


Lenny lounging on the porch...though he prefers the cool bedroom.



Ya'll keep cool!!

Wye Social Network, part 1

This was a busy weekend on Wye. Friday night I hosted the June WOW (Witches of Wye. For all you newbie readers out there, this is basically an excuse to get together with girlfriends on the mountain and eat and drink wine, and relax -- we aren't really witches, we just thought it would be fun to call ourselves that -- and maybe some of the 'dicy' element would leave our property alone if they thought we were...).

Then on Saturday we went to a neighbor's dutch-oven cook-off and taping of a show for the History channel. That'll be my second posting. I forgot my camera (can I blame Excy, who was rushing me out the door?) so I have to use Excy's camera-phone photos, which are...well, let's just say, they aren't mine. Sorry. Not that I'm a professional, or anything.

But back to the witches. Things got busy that night, too, so no photographs (Again. Sorry). I got over-enthusiastic about inviting several 'town witches' - friends from town who wanted to come party -- before I knew it we were up to 13. (Does that make a coven?).

What was I thinking?? Mildly freaked out, I put Excy and Corey to work cleaning up the yard and grounds, and hauling around chairs and putting the three leafs in the table to sit 14...yeah, they were thrilled. The indispensable Robin came in to clean on Thursday, so I could spend time tackling things she doesn't do (like windows, of which we have a million, all with cobwebs and all a zillion feet high, it seems), and the porch and terrace (where it ended up too miserably hot to sit, even at night, anyway...). I bought red and orange lilies from Beth's flower and berry farm down the road...her professional flowers are bigger than the day lilies blooming in our yard. Excy drove by on Saturday and said her zinnias are also in bloom now. Love those happy flowers -- and her blueberry and raspberry bushes are now ripe for the picking -- but I digress...

For some reason I had thought having a salad bar would be an excellent idea. One of my favorite lunch spots in Little Rock is a build-your-own salad bar, and I saw an article in O magazine touting the idea for a party, so I went with it. Again: What was I thinking?!

I was cleaning and chopping veggies, fruits, and greens for hours. Cathy suggested next time, instead of usual pot luck, we each bring an ingredient for the salad. (That's the only time there will be a next time on that idea). But the salad was fabulous. I had mixed greens and romaine, and bowls of mushrooms, carrots, red onion, bell peppers, chickpeas, hard-boiled eggs, cherry tomatoes, radishes, dried cranberries, sunflower seeds, goat and feta cheeses, and 4 kinds of dressings. Hmmm...maybe I've left something out: I counted 14 bowls on the counter...Suzanne brought breads. Cathy made a delicious lemongrass soup. Deb made a chocolate cheesecake with strawberries that was to die for, and Sharon brought some special yummy cookies. Yes, we ate well. I'm sorry we were having so much fun, I forgot to take the photographs. My bad.

Saturday was also another high school reunion party of several classes, but since our neighbors were having the dutch-oven cook-off and demonstration that was also being filmed for a show that will be on the History Channel in October after ice road truckers ends its season, The 'Redneck Gourmets' (the emphasis is on 'gourmet') won out. That'll be my second post. Since there will be photos, it's one you'll definitely want to see.

Francis fox report: Francis and her Mr were grooming each other in the driveway Saturday. This tender scene took place in the shadow of the big tree next to the tack room so I couldn't sneak any pics. The kits (still counting three of them), are beginning to venture away from their den under the tack room and Excy caught them wrestling when he walked up to feed the horses on the house side...they ran off...but now that they are coming outside more I will be able to take photos. The baby coons should start coming up with their mamas, soon, too.

Peggy, vHL Warrior

When things are going along 'normally,' I can pretty well put living with a chronic disease in the background and adjust my life accordingly. Inevitably, something eventually comes along to jolt me back to the unpleasant reality of living with cancer. Usually it's poor health or some physical issue. Today, however, it was the discovery our friend and fellow vHL survivor, Peggy, died two months ago. Her dearly beloved husband followed 9 weeks later. His health was poor as well, but no doubt a broken heart had a lot to do with it.

I met Peggy in the late 1980s though the vHL connections one inevitably finds when researching one's illness. Peggy was a font of information, having lived with vHL and coming from a large family who have lived with vHL all their lives, and she was always serene and graceful at answering one's frantic and searing questions of what to expect and where one should turn for information.

Peggy sensed a need for even more service to her fellow vHL sufferers, and she instigated a nonprofit organization that people could call for information, counseling, that could also provide small financial stipends to those in need when traveling for medical tests or hospitalization. Peggy corralled everyone into contributing what strengths they had towards this charity. Before I knew it, I was writing a column for the newsletter. I could never say 'no' to Peggy. I suspect no one else could, either.

Peggy lost most of her family to vHL over the years, including their eldest daughter. Peggy lost an eye and parts of her kidneys and underwent several brain surgeries to the disease. All these trials never took away her humor or kindness. She didn't die of vHL, surprisingly enough. She died of leukemia, that medical professionals conjectured she got from all the CT scans she had to undergo through the years. They surmised that her body, already so compromised from vHL, could not withstand the new assault. It's a stunning loss to all of us who knew her.

She'd been on the other end of the phone line for so many years. She's come back from so many health battles. She was just in her 60s. We were lulled into a false sense of security that we would have her with us for many more years. It's a false sense of security we all develop, surprisingly enough, despite knowing better.

I'm glad that Don didn't have to live long without Peggy. I know he was miserable after her death. She was always his north light, and what strength they had they drew upon from each other.