Built for Fun

I'm pretty basic. To me, it wasn't the date, but the person/persons I was with that made the occasion.

Some special dates I remember from high school weren't dances or a prom (though some were certainly memorable), but rather, things like---my first 'real' kiss during the sailboat scene of The Way we Were (1974 if anybody's interested)*; going on a picnic with another couple that devolved into 'charging' each other in our respective convertibles like jousting and pelting them with left-over food. (You had to be there. At the time, it was crazy-fun); going to softball/football/basketball games and out afterwards; double-dating to movies like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid or Robin and Marion or classic film series; playing pool; dinners out; and watching Saturday Night Live. (SNL the first two seasons were a very big deal -- there hadn't been anything like it before).

In college, it was all about getting off the crowded campus and into nature -- rock climbing, rappelling, tennis, canoe trips, camping -- My BF after college made everyday life an adventure, and our travels out west will forever be fondly remembered. By the time Excy and I met, though, I'd been divorced a little more than a year and a half, and occasionally lonely, but I was comfortable on my own and engrossed in my life and career. I had dates, but my perfect BF lived in NY, a comfortable train ride from DC.

But when Excy and I finally met, that was it for me. I was his editor and wrote up a project of his. We met on the phone and spoke every day for two weeks. I enjoyed our conversations and reluctantly said good-bye when the piece was finished. He called the next day and said, "Hello kid, just missed talking to you." He got my home number, and for the next 6 weeks we spoke every night. I put off meeting him as long as I could. (I really liked having a phone pal, and was afraid meeting him would spoil all that). When he finally said this was ridiculous, we were meeting, I told him I couldn't because I 'had' to work that Saturday (he lived in MD). He said he'd meet me for lunch. I was waiting in the lobby when he walked through the revolving door. The first thought that flashed through my mind was Damn! I don't want to get married again!

A few months later he had a client meeting on the weekend and I went along. It was for a house design and we were meeting at the couple's old house. It was summer and I wore shorts. The woman answered the door and two huge dogs lunged at me, raking me with their nails from thigh to ankle. I'm scared of big dogs anyway, so I was horrified, bleeding, and in some pain. Without batting an eye this strange person said, "You shouldn't have worn shorts." I gave Excy a look like, Can we go now??After an hour of discussing house details we decided to order pizza, and her husband and I left to pick it up while she and Excy were hashing out some detail -- as you can guess, she was a caustic client -- and her pleasant husband and I were waiting for our order when he turned to me and asked what it was that made my relationship 'work' with Excy; how did I 'know' he was 'right' for me?

I think I told him that timing is important, though it wasn't everything, and basically I knew I'd always enjoy his company, and I'd have more fun hanging out with him in the parking lot of a KFC** than I would a weekend in Paris with my former husband. He grew quiet. Three weeks later, when Excy had finished the design phase but couldn't get them to call back, we knew something was up. The guy finally called, and said he and his wife had decided to get a divorce. Planning the house made them both realize how different their priorities were in life.***

I was pretty happy for him, though sad Excy lost a design job...

* I hated it, until later that night when we practiced again. Then it didn't seem a bad thing after-all, much to my relief. I was horrified my future dating life/years were gonna be gruesome....

**Not that we actually frequent KFC, or any fast-food chains for that matter, but it was the principle of the thing....And fortunate this is, too, considering our lifestyle!

***Actually not that uncommon - building a house is a great adventure but boy, it is stressful.....