Sometimes I'm a real 'chatty Cathy.' When I'm among my WOWs or WILLOWS, or close other friends, I keep up with the best of them.* I tend to interject when Excy is 'holding court,' because, frankly, he can talk too much or too long (Seriously. Ask anybody).
One thing I won't do is dominate the conversation or go on too long -- underneath it all, I am a bit of an introvert. I can only fully articulate my feelings on the written page. And arguments make me 'shut down.' I am getting better with age at speaking up. I wouldn't call myself a door-mat, by any means, but sometimes it takes an effort when it's a touchy subject.
In the '90s when I was at my last full-time job, I spent all my working days in meetings, interviewing people, on the phone, and writing and editing on the page and for videos. When I needed to write (newsletter, scripts, speeches, brochures, etc.), I was frustrated by constant interruptions. I finally made a sign and tried to establish guidelines of when I didn't mind being interrupted and when I'd be checking email, that kind of thing...of course, it didn't work that well. It's amazing how many people don't think a sign applies to them. They want what they want when they want it. "I saw your sign, and know you're working, but I just need to ask...."
My director was the worst. I guess she thought she had to " pop in for a sec" just to make sure I wasn't face-down on the desk catching a few ZZZZZs or cruising the internet.
The last thing I felt like doing when I got home was talking on the phone. So I started to take 'vows of silence' and refusing phone calls. A ringing phone never bothers me, anyway. I usually let 'the electronic butler' take a message and get back to the caller later. That can drive Excy crazy, since he can not NOT answer a ringing phone. Not to mention a friend who insists on calling just to 'chat' while out running errands. Drives me insane...but most of my friends respect my 'phone phobia,' and I don't mind a good long conversation if it's been awhile since I've seen someone.
Sometimes I spend a whole day not talking at all. No set day, just when I feel I need to refuel from a hectic pace. Honestly, with email and a writing tablet, it's not that difficult to go one day without talking. Excy doesn't mind, knowing I will go at least one full day without interrupting, and I am a captive audience. Unless you call a hastily scratched note an interruption...
* sometimes I catch myself interrupting, which I hate to do, but it's the only way to get a word in edge-wise, at times, with a group of excitable women (particularly ones with wineglasses in their hands)...
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10 comments:
I love days of solitude but they are so few and far between I honestly don't know if I have ever gone one whole day without talking.
I like the idea though, a lot.
I'm a lot like you in regard to stating my opinion and intervening when needed. I can "step up" and do when needed, but if someone else wants to take it on first that's ok too...However, I don't think I've ever gone a day without talking, even it was just to the dog. LOL I used to really enjoy long phone calls, but not anymore. I'm totally an internet gal most of the time.
Most days, I only talk to hubby and sometimes my daughter. Other than that, I go for very long periods of time without communicating with others, except for emails and blog comments. I'm much better off keeping my mouth shut and I'm okay with it, but if someone gets me going... they better beware, because I'm capable of talking and my brutal honesty tends to hurt feelings, even when I don't mean to. I'm much safer all by myself.
I like to talk with my family, but I also love days of silence. Sometimes I don't see anyone all day but my husband and he is not a talker. I do talk to the dogs every day. :)
I can so relate to shutting down with arguments. I just see no sense in them. No one ever changes their stance and it is worrysome on the blood pressure.
I had a co-worker who just yakked, yakked, yakked. Drove me up the wall. She was what my therapist called an "Emotional Vampire".
She sucked the energy life right out of me. Headphones were my salvation. And telling her to stop talking to me because I was busy would result in "sniff, sniff!"
Yes, she was that much of a baby!
I am phone-phobic as well, and I do work in the service industry so during the day I am 'on'. In the evenings, I am absolutely 'off'. I am tired of talking sometimes, and would rather communicate by email, to set up a coffee date and meet face to face and talk. I turfed my answering machine because I was no longer listening to the messages...
The phone thing is something else we have in common. I have a picture of you in that office. I will have to dig it out and see if I see the sign.
I guess I am surprised to hear you are not a chatty person. Your blog seems so chatty. I guess we all find the area where we are most comfortable in social interaction.
I find as I get older, and after life's losses and unexpected turn of events, I am less interested in talking just to interact with others. I think I was somewhat addicted to talking in my younger years. I have changed. I also no longer wish to participated in arguments and such. I don't wish to talk on the phone. I am content to have a small circle of people with whom I wish to interact, and I am surprised to see I am no longer interested in being the social butterfly I once was.
Thanks for the post. I think I just realized how much I have changed.
I am the same way. The phone can answer itself. I have only one phone for home and away - my cell phone and if I can't see who's calling (or sometimes even if I can) I'm not picking up. I'm not a fan of phones. I use them to make arrangements and quick things like that but I'm not up for chatting. Texting is the best invention ever as you don't HAVE to chat anymore most of the time. :) My phone's really just a big toy where I can check the temperature, send the odd text and play games if I'm bored while making little Android versions of myself as an avatar.
Sometimes I even turn the ringer off or leave it in airplane mode. Ha!!!
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