Friday, June 8, 2012

I Am Soooooo Special!

...Or, 'It's All About Me!"
America seems to be obsessed with the cult of celebrity, and that sense of entitlement trickles down to us 'regular folk,' who now believe in the necessity of  thousand-dollar prom dresses, million-dollar weddings, 'push' presents, full-time nannies, and 24-hr Twitter feeds. (I'm pulling in my drive! Woo, glad to be home!)....But let us not forget the STARS with capitol S T A Rs, who feed the obsession by promoting themselves relentlessly and pushing forward this disgusting phenomena.

Here are a few stories that support my statements. I ran across this little gem in the paper: Madonna "rebuffed" a too-avid Journalist fan who had the temerity and clearly (too her) bad taste to present her with a bouquet of purple hydrangeas. OMG! The cad! Plus, he called her "my princess," which - well to be honest, was, yeah, yuck - but it isn't exactly like calling her an over-the-hill, clinging B-list singer or anything...She took the hideous flowers saying, "I absolutely loathe hydrangeas," stuffing them under a table. Really, Madge? It would kill you to be gracious and accept a well-meant gift of flowers (which, by the way, are lovely, as all flowers are), and keep your friggen' opinion to yourself for a change? It's not like he's going to give you a truck-load of them afterwards. Yeah, apparently she's that kind of out of touch gal. Said Journalist gets the 'No Deed Goes Unpunished Award.' And Madonna looks like an idiot.

Unfortunately, she's not alone.

Two more stories (that were told to me) underscore just how 'important' celebrities are and why they should be allowed special dispensation just for walking among us:

Exhibit A:"Ah-nold's" ex-wife, Maria (who may get a pass because, well, she was married to Arnold, and that may have sent her around the bend)...a friend was at a popular restaurant where they were standing in line for a table. She said Maria sallied forth to the head of the line, saying they were to be seated immediately. The reservationist pointed to the back of the line, saying that the wait was 30 minutes. "Do you know who  I am??!" She sputtered. He informed her that yes, he did know, and the wait was still 30 minutes. She hastened away (dignity slightly worn?).

Exhibit B: A friend's car broke down in Taos, NM, and she rode to the repair shop with the driver of the tow-truck, who regaled her with stories of some of the celebrities who lived in town. He said he was waiting in line for gasoline one day, and the wait was long so he got out of his car to chat with a friend he spied in line. A car cut him off as he was preparing to pull up to the pump. He walked over to explain that the car she had cut off was his and he was next in line for gas. "Do you know who I am??!" (AGAIN WITH THIS LINE). He said he replied with something like, he didn't care if she was Queen of England, he was first, and yeah, he knew she was Julia Roberts, the movie star. Eh. Julia Roberts; she of the toothy grin and inflated ego...My opinion of both of these ladies fell a few points short after hearing these stories.

Next, from a magazine I read in a waiting room, I learned about @Humblebrag, a Twitter account dedicated to false displays of humility. I don't Tweet, so I am glad they gave three examples, which I share:
'Millionaire' reality show host Patti Stanger -- "why is it men always tell me I'm beautiful when I don't have a stitch of makeup on? So crazy!" (Having never met her, I'll still have to call bull-shit on this one, having seen her in commercials. Jus' sayen').
Bill Maher -- "Just getting to Book Review section - forgot I had a book out! Seeing it on the New York Times bestseller lists is a thrill (it is pretty funny)." Really Bill? Throwing down the bull-shit flag on this one, too.
And finally, Ashley Judd -- "Awkward: boarding a sold-out flight and hearing the flight attendant announce the in-flight movie is one of mine: Dolphin Tale." Whereas she probably hung her head and said, ah, shucks....

Least I am accused of picking only on the celebrities today, here's a story an acquaintance told on her mom, actually bragging about it and seemingly seeing nothing wrong with her mom's behavior:
Her step dad made the 'mistake' of bringing home six red roses -- for no reason -- and her mother thanked him by taunting him and complaining bitterly because there were 'only' six....not a dozen, which she deemed the only "appropriate" number...she said he never made that mistake again...I wish that meant he never gave her mom roses again, but unfortunately it meant the poor guy towed the line and she hands him his balls only for special occasions.

This post can be filed under 'Amy is hitting the venom-juice again'...sorry to be so snarky folks...been one of those days...


traci's mixed bag said...

Great reminder not to take ourselves so seriously. I know I tend to take life so seriously.

It would be funny to use that "Do you know who I am?" line but say something random. Like if I want to cut people in line."Do you know who I am? I babysit my niece on Fridays and she is freaking adorable!"

Norma Beishir said...

I've had a few run-ins with new writers who think they're already literary starts and therefore think they should be allowed to get away with anything. One posted on her blog that others were jealous of her success. What success??? She had two books out, the first poorly written (which reflected in the few reviews it got), neither getting much attention. A fellow author suggested giving out a Get Over Yourself award!

Ms. A said...

Celebrity doesn't impress me much. I can't think of too many that aren't WAY overrated and overpaid.

Ami said...

Money and fame have nothing to do with common sense and decency, unless you're into things that are inversely proportionate. :)

I was once in the grocery store in Temecula, California.

An older actor had the aisle blocked with his cart. I moved it.

And he was pissed.
"Do you know who I am?" (over a shopping cart!!! A SHOPPING CART!!)

And I said, "Yes. You're the crabby old bastard who's parked his cart in the center of the aisle so no one can get by."

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

And yet they all claim to remember their "humble" roots...okay, maybe Maria's weren't so humble...

From the Mind of a Madman said...

When I get rich.... I'm gonna buy me some courtesy and decency... but not till then.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Oh how you touched a nerve with me on this post.
I couldn't agree more.
Back in the days when I worked the ticket counter at a major airline we heard the tale of an agent when being asked,"do you know who I am?" He got on the PA and asked passengers if anyone knew who this woman was because she is confused and asked us.

That story became legend over the years and I always wished I had the balls to have done that when I was asked that narcisstic question. Or at very least I wish I could have slapped them. :-)

ReformingGeek said...

Great post! I am not at all impressed by celebrities and I'm tired of the "it's all about me" attitudes.

I heard a story last night about Terry Bradshaw who used to live in our city. He apparently refused to donate a signed football for the local school fund-raiser, even when his kid went there.

For shame.

Arkansas Patti said...

Ahhhh. Do you feel better now? Sadly celebrities behaving badly is all too common but those few who do behave admirably, don't seem to get memorable press.

Dame Nuisance said...

I'll have what you're having! Make my venom-juice a double, tho'.

Lauren said...

Nobody should take themselves that seriously. Respect is the glue that holds a society together.