Saturday, November 21, 2009

I am...The Joker!

I was trolling Dillards last week in my continuing quest to find the perfect shade of red lipstick when my new BF came up to me and said, "Okay, I'm just gonna blurt it out here - your look? Your coloring? It's working for you..." I mean, how could you not love this man?? I wanted to hijack him and take him shopping with me immediately. He was in town from NYC setting up the new Keihl's counter, for which my real BF is now in charge of. (Oh, and by the way? Cameos are totally 'in' this spring. So bring on Granny's brooch).

I had just returned the disastrous Estee Lauder "12 hour" red lipstick I had bought weeks before. I had put in on, taken a sip of tea, and found all of it on the mug. I made a few more stabs at it, but it would either feather or end up on my teeth. Grrrr.

When I got to the counter, the lady there said, "Really? I have to remove it at the end of the day with a makeup remover!" Knowing she was lying through her teeth I dispensed with my usual show of Southern graciousness and said, "Good for you! Return, please." She asked if I wanted to try a different color. God help me.

On Mr. Congeniality's recommendation, I tried the Giorgio Armani counter, where I met a wonderful French woman. The lipsticks were so new, samples weren't even out yet -- thus not stolen...I requested the shades of red that went with my shade of coloring and we decided on two. I selected one to try on, and she insisted she put in on me herself. I reluctantly and awkwardly climbed up on those high chairs they force adult women into (which aren't, incidentally, convenient for the disabled). She made a show of lining my Clara Bow and filled it in with the stick and flourished a hand mirror before me.

Have you ever wanted to wipe off product immediately upon seeing it? I choked back a laugh. Seriously? That's what you think my lips look like? They were twice their normal size -- I looked like Goldie Hawn in The First Wife's Club. Duck lips. Clown face. This child had never colored between the lines. I wanted to wipe most of it away but did not want to hurt her feelings. People were watching. (Hopefully in sympathy, but maybe they were just mildly curious to see how I'd react). The color, however, was great, so I promised her this was a test drive and if it lived up to the claims I'd be back to pick it up - she assured me it had so much staying power it'd last until dinner (this was mid-afternoon).

I decided to stretch my lips as wide as I could in a grin until I got to the car to make adjustments as best I could. Several people commented on my lip color as I made my way through the store, which made me sweat a bit. Once in the car I whipped out the kleenex and went to work. Dang! It really did have staying power....

After the grocery I headed home. When he saw me, Excy cocked his head and stared at my face several long seconds and then announced that I looked like The Joker from Batman and it was creeping him out.

He didn't even want me to wait until I had put away the groceries.
Product: Giorgio Armani
Red #400 Liner #4
Wears great, feels wonderful.
Did go back to buy it

25 comments:

Just Playin' said...

Glad you found a good color! I totally get clown faced. I feel that way too. Just found a longlasting lipstick I like. Bought the brown one (I know sounds terrible) and the berry one. At least I look like I'm alive with a good lipstick!

Eva Gallant said...

It's so hard to find a color and lipstick that lasts. I'll have to check those out.

strokeofliving said...

Maybe I'll drag my sweetie to the Armani counter when there is an occasion that calls for the staying power of red. He'll be my critic and kissing test.
Thanks for this review. Drug store Revlon is just sub par.

Deborah said...

OH, That was so funny! I think we have all had days like that!
I love red and pink lipstick. It has to be hot pink though. For some reason it looks good on my color skin tone!!! (That's what I think!!LOL)

Secretia said...

That's a good story.

plainolebob said...

Amy, glad it worked, you are good at description, the joker, duck lips, lol, I just love you for enduring that.
I won't be buying any though, less I go back to clowning around.
BIG HUGS

Aunt Juicebox said...

LOL

ReformingGeek said...

What? No photo?

Sheesh.

Ironically, Hubby and I watched The Dark Knight last night so I have the Joker's face imprinted in my mind. YIKES!

Sandy said...

I remember years ago being in Jordan Marsh in Boston looking for a bridesmaid's dress (oh horror) and letting them do my makeup at one of the counters. When I got home and sat next to my husband, he just looked at me and said..."what did you do?" It didn't seem like a compliment so I washed my face.

wendy said...

I love lipstick. we girls should wear RED more often. I'll have to go check it out -----at such time my adventures get me back to a real live mall.

and I hate it when the girls at the counter want to apply my lipstick ---I think they are all Blind

tattytiara said...

Ah haha, oh you poor thing. Ain't that the truth, though - make-up never stays put better than when it's been applied badly!

Tam said...

I always feel like I'm letting a five year old put my makeup on when I have to sit in one of those chairs. And seriously, what ARE they thinking? Did I non-verbally send the message: "Make me look like a $10 hooker" ???

Krimmyk said...

I am glad you found the color you were looking for. I have a really hard time with finding a color that looks good once it is on, and has staying power. I may have to look into the Armani line. Leave it to the man to say something so romantic you wonder why you don't hit him with a frying pan...BOYS!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I think I'm one of those people who, where make up is concerned "less is more". I always end up looking like a clown if I wear even the tiniest amount of blush or strong colour. I am the palest person on Earth though. However, if you do find a good lipstick that STAYS ON without being that nasty dried up stuff that feels like enamel paint, please let me know! :)

PaperbackWriter said...

Lucky you can wear red, I have such fair skin and blue undertones. Though I can usually get away with a berry leaning towards red.
And NEVER will I ever allow one of those make-up girls to do me ever again, i always end up looking like a 3yo was coloring my face with her favorite magic markers. Did no one ever tell these girls that just because its called 'make-up' doesn't mean you have to look like made-up?
I'm not a 90 year old gramma with cataracts that I have to apply so much to be seen.

Ms. Diva said...

I wish I could wear red - but my lips are too thin! So I end up with browns. I always buy the long lasting, the newest is the new lip stain. Whatever. I never leave home without lipstick but rarely arrive with any on! Sigh!!!

Michelle said...

Where is the picture of that??????

Erin said...

I wish someone could help me find "my" colors, etc. Every time I try to put on makeup I feel like I look clownish.

I found you over on Life Laugh Latte & thought I'd come say hello.

P.S. I'm your newest follower & Happy Thanksgiving!

(I'm also an animal lover, and I was born & bred in New Orleans. I am now living in Kansas and I miss my hometown & family)

Tater Tot Mom said...

I have the hardest time with lipstick. I can never seem to find just the right color. I have more duds than I care to admit!

The Marketing Mama said...

AS the first post I've read on your blog, this was wonderful! Just loved it. You are a great story teller, which I suspect is partly why you have a blog. :)

Missy

Candice said...

Thanks for the laugh.

Those makeup counter ladies are smoking crack. I know this because I have a few stories of a similar nature myself.

I've left the counter looking like a meth addicted prostitute before. It wasn't pretty.

Tamara said...

hahaha i cracked up when you compared your lips to Goldie Hawn's in First Wives Club!! I've tried so many lipsticks and I swear from the time I put it on til the time I'm starting the car and check the mirror, it's gone already. I just gave up and quit wearing it. lol
I'm also following you now. :)

Helen McGinn said...

Just make sure you apply it yourself! ;O) I remember the sales girl at Chanel...Chanel, incidentally, seem to have the worst sales girls...and she too insisted on applying my chosen lipstick shade. I told her in as many ways as politely possible that anyone putting anything on my lips would make me tickle and watch to immediately scrub it off. The only way I could get through to her was to say "ok then, have a nice day" and walk over to the girls watching agog at the Estee Lauder counter where the treated me properly and I spent many, many pounds.

Helen McGinn said...

Ok...only some of that made sense, I'm sick you see... :O)

Choleesa said...

I would love to see a picture of this red.
I look high and low, but never find the right shade of red. I will have to check this one out.