Saturday, October 3, 2009

Obnoxious People & Things I've Done in Retaliation, Pt. 2

I was just about to turn into a handicapped parking space, waiting for a person to drive off, my blinker on, being atypically patient, when before I could this car from the opposite side swoops in the space. And they didn't even have a handicapped sticker!* Sometimes when this happens, I just sit there and a hard stare can make them back sheepishly out, but this dude blithely jumped out and sauntered into the store. I get inside and start shopping and a few aisles down, there's Mr. Obnoxious, talking loudly and importantly on his cell phone, one of those Cyborg head set thingies where people make eye contact with you and you mistakenly think they're talking to you when you realize with a start they're not (why do these people always look at people when talking?). He keeps parking his shopping cart carefully in the middle of the aisle and then wandering off. I move it twice. The third time this happens I ram it gently with my cart to push if off to the side, and it jostles a few cans. He comes back and gives a little snort, like I'm the rude one. So, I think, here, I can do better than that. The next time he isn't looking, I toss a large tube of Preparation H and a box of Tampax in his cart. I was hoping for a price check. Or at least that the items made it home.**

*I know you've never seen anyone ticketed for parking in a handicapped space, or for that matter, littering. One time I called in a license number for a man who just tried to run me off the road. He had been driving 30 mph in a 50 zone, but when I attempted to pass him he sped up and tried to force me onto the left shoulder. His wife or somebody was yelling at the jack-leg all the while. I hoped she left him shortly thereafter. The police person I called said they had to actually see it happen. But the police are johnny-on-the-spot at speed traps.
**I heard of this from a John Waters interview. He calls it 'shopping for other people.' Sounded downright altruistic.

5 comments:

Tater Tot Mom said...

Good for you! I hate rude people!

Krimmyk said...

Thats funny! He deserved every bit and more.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I am all about retaliation...you read my blog right??

Chris said...

Donna and I watched Edwin Edwards and his new wife (at the time) Candy park his big Caddy in the handicapped space at Albertson's one day. I'm sure they were just "running in for a few things."

S.E. Sward said...

'Shopping for other people': Oh, I'm going to have to remember that! Totally!! LOL.