Thursday, October 15, 2009

That's So Squirrelly

It's not nice to laugh at the misfortunes of others, but sometimes it's just so hard not to -- especially when it's utterly bizarre.

I worked at a beautiful office building on NY Ave., in DC that was fronted in glass and overlooked a brick courtyard, with a tiny patch of lawn and a few trees. One spring, a male squirrel began attacking men who walked by 'his' turf. He was overly protective of this territory because of mating season, the animal control people later mused, though we never saw him woo females, and he never attacked female humans. Every afternoon for about four days I could count on looking out the window and being entertained by watching -- like some great silent screen pantomime -- men in suits walking soberly through the courtyard one second, and then seconds later leaping in the air like a ballet dancer, clutching their head in horror, and either bunny hopping or spinning in circles with what resembled a coonskin cap flapping in wild gyrations on their head. One guy slapped himself on the head with his brief case as hard as he could and then flopped on the grass, rolling, while two men rushed to help him and beat the squirrel back with a trench coat. Another time the guy was shouting at the squirrel like you would a dog that refused to heel, as if it was going to respond to verbal commands. Mostly they got scratched up and disgruntled, and their dignity really took a big hit. We were warned not to go out for breaks in the courtyard until animal control captured the poor misguided beast. The entertainment was eventually captured and carted away, and I've never laughed so hard soda's poured out my nose again.

9 comments:

Aunt Juicebox said...

lol My husband's business gets assaulted by geese every year. They aren't allowed to remove them, so they all fight for the parking spots closest to the door during that time because of the risk of getting attacked by flying geese. I think it's just nature's way of getting us back for trying to take over. :)

Tater Tot Mom said...

That's hilarious. I went to Southern Illinois University and there were some woods that you would have to walk through to get to some classes. They were notoriously filled with squirrels who were so used to all the people they would practically walk right up to you. My roommate was so afraid of them that she would never walk through the woods. Made getting to class kind of difficult!

Great post!

Tricia McWhorter said...

What a funny post! The closest I ever came to something like this was in Bali in the monkey forest. Monkeys are considered sacred there and they mobbed me and tried to steal my purse. It was more than a little weird.

Charisse and Holly said...

Too funny! Wish candid camera had been there so the whole world could enjoy it! Thanks for the giggle:) Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

staceyjwarner said...

Hilarious! Yes, that you have to laugh at! Too funny!

Deborah said...

I have never seen a squirrel do that! I'm glad also! That must have been very entertaining in a weird sort-of way!!

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adrienzgirl said...

That is awesome. Times like those, you wish you had been videotaping not just people watching.

Douglas said...

How compassionate.